Stay
Written for the SNHU 2023 Fall Writing Contest
It snowed the first time I saw him. White flakes fell around us as if someone had shaken a bottle of glitter. It clung to his black hair like tiny crystals. If I’d known he would be just as dangerous as the roads, I’d have stayed home but they say hindsight is 20/20. Had I known what he would do to me, I’d… Well, I know what I did. I laughed. I cried. I begged. My god did I beg. I wanted him harder. Faster. I wanted all of him, and that was exactly what I got.
I woke around two in the morning to howling winds. Snow blew hard and fast outside the window. But inside, inside was warm. The body beside me was hot to the touch. I laid there watching his chest rise and fall, the tan skin that had melted into my pale curves. His hands that left imprints everywhere he touched. He worshiped my body like it was a temple and I, his goddess. I couldn’t get enough of him. He was my new obsession. But even obsessions end and if I had any dignity I’d leave before he woke up.
My clothes were strewn around the room. The result of frantic kisses and the need to become one with each other. I dressed as quickly as I could, save for the bra that disappeared in the darkness of the room, and stood in the doorway watching him sleep. I was like a moth drawn to a flame and this man was sure to set me on fire. If I didn’t go now, I’d never leave.
The chair in the kitchen creaked as I sat. It was loud in the silence, the only other noise the howling wind as it raged outside. I swear I heard it say “stay, don’t leave him.” I tied my L.L. Bean boots in the dim light that hung above the sink. A soft sigh escaped my lips as I stood and pulled on my purple, puffy jacket. There was a small snag where he had pressed me against the door. The feel of his mouth on mine and his teeth biting at my neck sent a shiver through me. The phantom touches that I could feel on my skin. His leg moving between my thighs as he expressed his need, his desire, for me and only me. God, I needed to go.
I let out a soft curse as I opened the door. A snow drift stood two feet tall before me. The need to go back inside tugged at the back of my mind, my heart. My feet refused to move as if I was stuck to the floor. I couldn’t move. The frozen wind slapped blades of snow against my face. It coated my long hair that hung loosely around my face. I could barely see three feet in front of me. The storm was going strong.
“Stay, don’t leave him.”
My boots sank into a pile of snow as I stepped onto the porch and closed the door behind me. If I didn’t go now…
The further I was from the door the quieter the voice was. “Stay…stay…st…”
Then it was gone.
And all warmth left my body. I felt nothing. No cold. Everything was numb. I missed the heat of him.
The snow became too much, and I sank to my knees. It was so cold, and I was so tired. I laid back in the snow watching the flakes fall above me until it began to cover my body. A chilly laugh bubbled from my frozen lips. Leaving that warm bed was the stupidest thing I had ever done. Okay, maybe the second stupidest thing. I could have at least stayed in the house, then I wouldn’t be dying. A smile crossed my frozen lips as I lost myself in memory.
He pushed me against the door; kisses peppering my face and my neck. His hands slid down my sides, arms circling around me. He tasted of hot cocoa and mint. The stubble on his face scratching as he nuzzled my skin. A laughed bubbled up inside me as it tickled my neck. He pulled back and looked at me curiously.
“I can’t tell if you like that or not.”
His deep voice slithered down my skin leaving goosebumps. I couldn’t tell you why I went home with him. It could have been his smile, his good looks, even his laugh. I just knew that I wanted him, and he wanted me.
There wasn’t a surface we didn’t touch but my favorite was his tanned skin; the taught stomach that flexed beneath my touch. His strong thighs that slid between my own as I settled atop him. Then our clothes were gone tossed around the toasty bedroom. He kissed me then, like truly kissed me. It was electric and there was no way anyone else could compete with this man. This stranger I had just met.
His lips were made for me. They were meant to trail down my writhing body. I needed him just as badly as he needed me. He was my destiny. My savior.
I had tried to leave once we had finished. Our bodies were spent, but I couldn’t stay. It would only be worse in the morning. That walk of shame, dread. I already knew that I didn’t want to leave his bed.
“Stay, don’t leave.”
His arms slid around my waist holding me against him. Our breathing was labored, but we didn’t mind. His deep blue eyes were watching mine slowly growing tired. He kneaded his fingers into my back and began to rub in small circles. It felt so good it lulled me into a deep sleep.
Sleep was coming and it was so, so good. I didn’t want to do anything else. The numbness had spread through me, and I was so tired. Everything felt like a dream. It was like fairy dust falling from the sky pulling me into a deep slumber. I wanted nothing more than to sleep forever.
The ground crunched softly beneath me. I felt like I was floating. Up, up, up, into the dark sky. My eyes closed and I inhaled the cold, heady scent of pine and smoke. I tried to speak. To tell the world that I wanted to go back. I wanted to return to him, but no words came. I was frozen. Something growled in anger or was its frustration. There was no way for me to tell.
A bright light welcomed me moments later. I had felt heaven earlier, but now I was there. A moan slipped through my icy lips. I was thawing. Feeling began to slowly return and there was the sound of a zipper. A thud came soon after followed by a second.
Crackling and a pop came from my right. My eyes searched and a fire was burning brightly in a fireplace. I felt the tug of denim down my legs and my sweater over my arms and head. A violent shiver coursed through me as the ice left my veins. Rough hands ran over my cold skin. Over and over. My blue fingertips were regaining their color as feeling returned to my limbs. My body stretched out and a groan bubbled in my throat.
Arms slid under my limp body and soon I was in the air. No, I was against a hard chest. A door kicked open and I was placed on a soft mattress and covered with a soft, fuzzy blanket. The other side of the bed dipped slightly, and warm arms snaked around me. My body began to relax, and my head stopped swimming. Damp hair clung to my face until a hand brushed it away slowly.
And then I heard the words that I had been hearing on the wind.
“Stay, don’t leave him.”
A soft kiss to my shoulder.
“Stay.”
Another to my brow.
“Stay.”
And so, I did.
JH 